This whole crying over you every night thing is getting old and i don’t know how much longer in going to be able to deal with it.

Why am i so gullible. Why am i unlovable. Why do i believe what you say. Why do i love you. Why do i care. Why do i cry every night before i got to sleep because I’m not with you. Why did i let myself go threw all of this. Why was i so stupid. Why am i not allowed to be happy.

I don’t want to start over. I don’t want another first kiss with you. Because our first kiss was amazing. It was unplanned and one of the weirdest and funniest stories. I don’t want another second kiss with you because ours was the most memorable and more risky thing I had ever done in my life. Its something I will never forget. I don’t want to pretend that the past 3 months meant nothing just because I have a problem with listening to other people. I would hate to go on another first date with you, because when we were in the pizza place, I felt happier than I ever have in my life. I have been happier in the past three months than I ever have been ever. You can ask anyone. Idk about you, but I have never liked someone like I like you. And I don’t care if you have, because then that means you know how amazing it feels. All I know is that you have a choice. You could either start where we left off without me listening to anyone else, with me. Or you can start over with a fresh new start with another girl.

I’ll tell you I am sorry. But I’m not apologizing to you. I’m apologizing to myself. I’m sorry I let things get this far. I’m sorry I care for you so much more than you care for me. I’m sorry I will always remember the things you’ll forget. I’m sorry I gave it up so easily. I’m sorry you make me so happy. I’m even more sorry that I don’t make you feel the same. I’m sorry I acted so oblivious to who you are and what you come from. I’m sorry I almost loved you. I’m sorry I let you say you care and like about me. I’m sorry I believed it. I’m sorry I’m attracted to your type. I’m sorry I need to be with someone unlike you. I’m sorry I’m putting out the matches before fire catches. I’m sorry that you’re not sorry.